divort comic

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
-Have you any grounds?
-Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
-No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
-It made of concrete.
-I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
-No, we have carport, and not need one.
-I mean what are your relations like?
-All my relations still in Poland ...
-Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
-We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
-Does your wife beat you up?
-No, I always up before her.
-Is your wife a nagger?
-No, she white.
-Why do you want this divorce?
-She going to kill me.
-What makes you think that?
-I got proof.
-What kind of proof?
-SHE IS GOING TO POISON ME !!!! She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read English pretty good, and it say: Polish Remover

Un om polonez s-a mutat în SUA si s-a casatorit cu o americanca. Desi engleza lui era departe de a fi perfecta, ei s-au impacat destul de bine. Într-o zi, el a intrat grăbit în biroul unui avocat si l-a intrebat cum ar putea divorta. Avocat i-a spus ca obtinerea unui divort depinde de circumstante si i-a pus cateva intrebari:
-Ce motive ai?
-Da, un pogon si jumătate si o casa frumusica.
-Nu, vreau sa spun care este fundatia in cazul vostru?
-Ea e facuta din beton.
-Nu cred ca te înţeleg. Are vreunul din voi un motiv real?
-Nu, am sopron, si nu e nevoie de inca unul.
-Vreau să spun care este relatia voastra?
-Toate relatiile mele sunt inca in Polonia ...
-Există infidelitate in casatoria voastra?
-Avem stereo de înaltă fidelitate si un bun DVD-player.
-Sotia ta te bate?
-Nu, întotdeauna ma trezesc inaintea ei.
-Este sotia ta o femeie cicălitoare?
-Nu, ea e alba.
-De ce vrei sa divortezi?
-Ea vrea sa ma omoare.
-Ce te face sa crezi asta?
-Am dovada.
-Ce fel de dovada?
-Vrea sa ma otraveasca. Ea a cumparat o sticla de la farmacie si e pe raft în baie. Pot sa citesc engleza destul de bine si spune: ACETONA (Polish Remover)